Scribblings · Stream of Consciousness

Don’t Think Too Hard

It’s supposed to be a mentally cleansing exercise to just write whatever comes to mind for a few minutes straight. I like to type when i do this, because thoughts fly around so quickly and i can’t hand write quickly enough. So just write and write and don’t try and come to a specific outcome or write specific things, don’t worry too much about punctuation and don’t edit your work. Just write whatever. I like doing this, because it always feels so pointless but by the end your mind has taken you somewhere completely unexpected and there’s usually some kind of hidden insight locked away somewhere that you didn’t necessarily realise you had. When you can’t think of what to write just repeat the last word you wrote until another thought pops up up up up up. I wouldn’t like to ride a hot air balloon, honestly, because its just a basket and a balloon and so much vastness. So much sky. And i’m too afraid to die, and when i die i don’t want it to be because i fell out of a balloon basket. Everybody has to die, of course, but some people die to save a thousand lives and some people die and nobody even notices, and one obviously seems better than the other but really, they’re exactly the same, in the end. Unless you put a lot of value into the way you’re remembered. But that’s irrelevant too, eventually. Does the life you lived matter more if your name continues to rest on the tongues of the living, if your name remains in print and in our focus? Focus focus focus. Sometimes there’s so much to look at and so much to do. Did you ever play that little computer game where you’re a penguin on ice skates serving up food in a restaurant, and it gets crazy and busy and all the little penguins want their food and you’re getting there but they’re impatient and their little penguin faces are getting redder and redder, and if you could just have a moment to catch up you’d be fine but then more and more and more orders keep coming? Sometimes that’s what everything feels like now, except you can’t just close the game or replay, and it actually matters somewhat.

***

This is stream of consciousness writing. It’s a horrible mess but I really love doing it. It helps you sort through your brain, to clear up your ideas, and to overcome writers’ block. I recommend it to everyone, but even if it’s not your thing, I hope you found something interesting in this scrawling of my thoughts tonight. 🙂 xxx

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