It’s the last Christmas of a specific kind. I suppose it always is, but I know the tides are turning, and it’s because I asked them to.
It’s the final year I’ll spend Christmas at home, as a kid. Next year I’ll be across the world, seeing snow, or at least feeling cold.
Change freaks me out, because the passage of time freaks me out, and so does the unknown, and they all go hand in hand. It’s not necessarily a bad thing; really, for me and my circumstances it’s a good thing.
See the world, surround yourself with foreign language, dip your toes into a different culture and take note of it. I’ll be spending next Christmas in London, and I’ll call my parents on messenger or something, and I’ll see the lights and the markets and maybe snow, and wear 7 pairs of socks. It’s a fascinating and greatly privileged opportunity, and I don’t forget that.
But I am feeling a little sad, wondering if this is the last time the tradition I’ve grown up within includes me. Besides commercialism or religion, it’s sentimental. Surrounded by images of the White Christmas and sweaters and hot chocolate around the fireplace, my place in a now traditional originally-non-traditional Australian holiday is one I hold fairly proudly. Backyard cricket, hot weather, lemonade, a fancy new fan, flies, a fruity pavlova and that one kid who smashes a ball right through a window. It’s a casual modern interpretation, which lies beside a traditional holiday without envy.
Time always passes, and nothing is ever to be the same again, with each passing second. Only sometimes does that realisation emerge, and it’s when change rests just upon the horizon. I always try to savour a happy moment. Always, because I run from regret as fast I can, try to outsmart it. There’s nothing to be done though, really. There’s no real way to savour a moment, one just has to live it with as much enthusiasm, open-mindedness and gratitude as possible.
While I’m still stressing unnecessarily, I recognise that my stress is inherently built upon joy and good fortune. I’m privileged to have a lifetime of positive experiences to live through and then remember, with a dynamic and changing present to challenge and better the person I’m becoming, and an unknowable but bright future laid out before me.
When everything changes it’s important to realise things probably aren’t falling apart; probably, they’re growing or reshaping. Move through life with courage, faith in yourself to work through what’s thrown at you, and energy.
All the love,
Merry Christmas xx