I say ‘sitting, looking at a blank page and waiting for inspiration doesn’t work’. And I believe it, even though I still do it. You just have to get something, anything, down. The first thing that comes to mind. That’s what I’m doing. I probably don’t need to explain myself every time. People know what’s up. We’re perceptive, mostly, and we can work stuff out for ourselves. It makes me think about how far humanity has come, by being clever and perceptive. Like we began, facing the world with nothing but mind and body and the natural environment, and we’ve built houses and empires and cured diseases and invented magic, but we’ve also learned the most efficient way to kill people and destroy cities and reverse hard work. Things are destroyed faster than they’re created. Good is more difficult than bad most of the time, which is hard because it’s like the universe is just willing us to be bad. Maybe that’s the real test – you have to work extra hard to be a good person, and do the right things.
I have an exam today and I guess I talk about working hard more than I ever actually work hard, which isn’t the best. But I’m an hour off my finance exam and I don’t care about finance, and I don’t care about next week’s economics, and I don’t want a job in those things. So if I quickly get the boring failing part of the year out of the way, then next month I can start my next trimester and study literature and language and writing and challenge and engage myself, and learn something and meet people and do better. I thought I wanted to be a business person, but really I want to understand and write about the world and other worlds, and it’s okay to have been wrong, and it’s always good to acknowledge and allow a change.
You have to be wrong to grow and become right. Use the difficult times as building blocks and make something better for yourself.